Is this for real?

Many times I wonder - is this really happening? Am I really pregnant and already halfway through? Am I really capable of being a good Mom? Will I even know what to do when the baby is wailing? Will I function on zero sleep?

But the baby bump that continues to grow reminds me that this is a reality - one that I am happy about but also a teeny bit anxious over.

Can I just say that it is very weird to have people constantly comment on my changing shape? I realize that pregnancy is like a spotlight - there is no hiding that I have a baby under manufacturing but I never realized what it would feel like to be the focus of such attention! At work I may be the only one in my department that is pregnant, so it kinda stands out. I have one coworker that looks at my belly every morning and says "It's getting bigger!".

I have to say that the icing on the cake came last week - I guess at some point when you are preggers you just "pop", you start to look pregnant and not just chubby. I guess that time came around the last week or so. A coworker came to my desk in the morning and said that I was really starting to show now; a second coworker joined her and said, "I know, her face is chubby now." (UM, PARDON??) I think the look of shock on my face and my response of "Don't ever say that to me again" took her by surprise as she quickly recovered trying to say that she meant I was "glowing". I'll give her some credit, as English is not her first language and it wouldn't be the first time she was a bit"off" on an english expression. The other coworker firmly said my face was NOT chubby, that I only looked pregnant in my belly region, except that I was also a bit "fuller" on top - I'll take that as a compliment, it is the first time I've ever been a "C"! My other coworker then said, "No, she's not fuller." Sheesh - can I get a compliment or not??

Anyway, it is all good fun when you are the one getting bigger under close scrutiny ;) It is a strange and wonderful phase of life, I can hardly believe it is happening....but here is the proof - our ultrasound!

It happened on March 30, at pretty much exactly 19 weeks. I was warned about the full bladder thing, that I wouldn't really need to drink as much water as the instructions said. So, I drank about half of what I was supposed to one hour before the appointment. I got into the room and as the tech was starting the scan she said, "Wow. Your bladder is HUGE. Go pee out 2 cups and then come back." Well, that is not an easy task! Somehow I managed and then laid there for nearly half an hour while she did the scan and took measurements; I couldn't even see the screen so I was a bit bored and almost fell asleep! Then she finally turned the screen and asked if I had someone with me - then she got Brian to come in. It was so amazing for us both to see the baby moving around, to watch the tiny heart beat and even see the mouth open and close. I didn't cry, but I did have a tear or two run down my cheek. Seriously, life is a miracle!